Welcome to the end of the world, where the only thing more uncertain than tomorrow is whether or not you’ll have your skull bashed in by a mutant.
This post will guide you through this barren and desolate realm.
Here are ten tips to surviving a post-apocalyptic novel:.
1. Always carry a weapon, preferably one that’s also a musical instrument. In a post-apocalyptic novel, you never know when you’ll need to bash in a mutant’s skull or play a rousing rendition of “Eye of the Tiger” to pump up your fellow survivors.
2. Learn to speak “zombie.” The ability to grunt and moan like the undead can come in handy when trying to blend in or avoid them.
3. Learn to brew your own alcohol. Not only will it help you forget the horrors of the world, but it can also be used as a currency or a bargaining tool.
4. Learn to spot the signs of a love triangle. Love triangles can be as common as radiation sickness, and knowing how to spot the signs can save you from getting caught in the crossfire.
5. Learn to make friends with the mutants. Not all mutants are bad, and having an ally can mean the difference between life and death.
6. Trust no one, especially not the government officials. They’re probably the ones who caused the apocalypse in the first place.
7. Learn to survive in extreme environments, like super-markets and abandoned theme parks. It’s important to be prepared.
8. Learn to spot the signs of a bad guy pretending to be a good guy. Bad guys often disguise themselves as good guys to gain trust, so it’s important to know how to spot them. Look out for facial scars, an eye patch, or a train of people following them in shackles.
9. Keep a journal, but don’t write anything important in it. If it falls into the wrong hands, it could be used against you.
10. Learn to laugh at yourself. In a post-apocalyptic world, things can get pretty grim, so it’s important to find humour in the absurdity of it all.